!!Warning: Some might find the images disturbing and the content triggering. Please seek professional help if you encounter discomfort or distress!!
I was prompted to ask myself what my fears were after watching IT (2017) (no pun intended), especially while at my lowest point going through another episode of depression, self-harm and suicidal thoughts at that time. Painting is a form of self-therapy when I can’t find the words to express my thoughts (both abstract and intrusive) or the strong emotions associated with life circumstances and traumatic events.
Keeping up appearances while going through inner turmoil, along with trying to keep those demons at bay is not easy. Acting normal or at least socially acceptable just adds to the complexity of an already complicated predicament. However, I did find a sense of relieve after painting each time. It’s still a long road to recovery and healing. Dealing with those ‘monsters in the locked vault’ means I’ll need to face my fears.
On of the lessons I’ve learned is that what makes the journey ‘endurable’ is even in the midst of all the mess and craziness; taking one day or one step at a time and giving myself credit for the little progress made gives me a glimmer of hope no matter how dark the sky over my head becomes.
EvnikiA 